Cry Just A Little
by ViciousTongue
Summary: A look in the life of how Kyouko became a Magical Girl to the moment where she had her final moments in battling the one person that she cared for. *Spoilers*
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: Puella Magi Madoka Magica is property owned by Aniplex and Shaft. No Money is made out of this.**_

_**Author's note: This is basically a reflection story based on the life of Kyouko Sakura. The first chapter directs from "A Different Story." Read no further if you didn't read the manga. **_

Cry Just a Little  
by ViciousTongue

There was a time when I recall a moment when I first became a magical girl. That one wish I made was to help my father with his situation. To get people to listen to him. To have them understand his teachings and gain knowledge out of him. That one wish felt like a miracle. I remember how our church was packed with a lot of people. I never thought a wish like that would bring fortune into making those people listen to my father. For me, it felt as if I have brought life back into our world.

There was a time when I had to do my work as a magical girl. My experience of fighting was amateur. I was not good at finding witches and my abilities did not bring improvement. Yes, I was a rookie as I learn the ropes of being a magical girl. That first fight I have against a witch nearly cost me. I thought that my defeat was going to bring me down. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. My life was spared as another magical girl comes in the picture. She saved me as I was able to team up with her and defeat the witch together. I will never forget her face.

Mami Tomoe. For her, she was like a veteran in her fighting style. In fact, she became a magical girl last year. It's interesting to meet someone who's more experienced and is capable of what she does in terms of her fighting abilities. For someone like Mami, I call her my "senpai" whereas I am her "kouhai."

There was a time when I learn many things about Mami. For us to work like partners helped me out in my skills to fight witches. The real reason for doing our part in fighting witches is to save those that are cursed by the witches' kiss. In this case, we were like fighting for a cause by getting rid of evil that is being plagued in the City of Mitakihara. Mami said that she is fighting for justice to stop witches so that she can keep the innocent from falling into their curse.

Even so, we rarely have time to get to know each other. For Mami, she was usually a lonely girl. Her family died in a bad car accident and seeing that she was the lone survivor, she was rescued by Kyubey that made her accept a contract. I don't know how she managed to be on her own with nobody around her. Although she is a magical girl, we have to be on our own. Not for me. I wanted to fight alongside with her. I want her to help me become better to the way I fight. I didn't want her to be alone at that time.

There was a time when tragedy struck at my home. That night, my father's church was being under siege by a witch. A group of people were about to burn his place down. Taking action and preventing all of this, I knew that I have to save my father's church. I did all that I could on my own, without Mami. Showing determination, I cannot allow a creature to cause major damage to my home. The house that father built. I was able to defeat the witch by myself. I am pleased that I have saved not only the church from being burned down, but for the people that were cursed by that witch.

But then, my father came into the scene and saw me with my outfit on. He was shocked to see me dressed like this. He was not happy to see me like this as a magical girl. The look on his face did not seem promising. It looked like a sign of disappointment.

There was a time when I had a one on one talk with my father. Father was drinking more and more. It was almost as if he was about to lose it. On that day, I confessed everything to what I have been doing. Father said to me that what I've just done was selling my soul to the devil. Father thought I was crazy that he would have a daughter like me to go out there fighting witches while he continued to preach. What's even more surprising is that he labeled me a witch. I felt broken. How could you say that to me? Calling your own daughter...a witch? You can't say that to me! Since then, he took matters into his own hands. Taking the life out of my mom and my sister. Until he hanged himself. A total loss for me big time. All because of that one wish that changed everything.

There was a time where I felt completely hopeless. Never would I think that my wish meant nothing. Never would I think that making my wish for someone other than myself would turned out this way. It was like a turn of events that blindsided me without seeing the real truth. Being a magical girl felt worthless. What was I fighting for? Justice? I mean, seriously, what the hell was I fighting for? I lie on the snowy ground as my Soul Gem was tainted with darkness. I don't know why I paid such a high price of ultimate suffering. All that talk about fighting for justice meant nothing. I don't know what else will bring to me as I felt the despair inside of me. No family. Nowhere else to go to. No one. Just me, by myself. Alone in the world. Fate was about to close in, but miraculously, I was saved through a Grief Seed. That someone would be you, Mami.

I don't know why you came to save me and leave me as I is. Were you there for me to give me another chance? Were you concerned about my feelings after I have lost my family? Those moments are true. But it does change how I feel about all this. All that talk about justice and all that bull? What the hell were you talking about? Yes Mami! That meant nothing to me! That wish destroyed something big that I hold on to dearly. And I have to accept this?

No. I can't. I refuse to look up to you Mami. I don't want this. I don't want to work together with you anymore. I learned as much as I can from all those fights against those witches. I'll do all the fighting for myself.

You tried to reason with me. I wanted you to let go of me. Yet, you and I fought each other. I noticed that none of your attacks were nailing at me. I took matters into my own hands and got serious. Pointing my spear against your neck, I told you that we could no longer work with each other. I didn't want to be your "senpai" anymore. I have accumulated enough through your battles alongside with you. From that point, we went both ways, not to look back at each other.

Learning from all that have happened, I have realized that I made a big mistake. My wish, that led me to help out with my father, went all the way to a complete disaster. I swear that I would have never made a wish for him, but I did it so that I would have those that would understand him. I cry just a little after I can vision my family again, as well as my sister. I can't undo what has been done as it was a price that I paid for. Even if I regret it, it wouldn't matter much more. All I can do was to just move on and see what else life has to come.


	2. Chapter 2

Days later, I recall that time when I received word from Kyubey about someone making a contract. Learning from this, I have spied on who made a contract and find out what that person wished for. It turned out that someone has just made a wish for some boy that needs to be healed. Surprisingly, that made me be alert to who it was. A blue-haired girl that was behind the cause of the wish. A very foolish being that made the deal with the devil. With Kyubey that is.

On that day, I stalked the magical girl that has already made that contract. It took me effort to find her until I found that she was fighting a familiar and not a witch. I disrupted her actions and comes into the scene. I get her attention as we argued at each other. She was pissed and got enraged at me. So was I and together we clashed. The fight was real as I am taking my talents against a rookie. Its amazing that she could manage to fight against me at her own will. And to think I put her in a concussion, it seems that you possess such healing magic to cure yourself.

The fight was about to come to a close as we were about to finish each other off. That moment changed when another magical girl came in play. The fight ceased and then I was confronted with that mysterious girl. She knows my name, but I asked if we have met before. With a response that went "Perhaps..." I am clueless. Who is she? What was her purpose? What does she want? I don't know what's the deal with her, but I hear that she is a powerful magi. In fact, there is no telling if she was a friend or foe, but she was nowhere in between those positions.

I remember another time when I met up with that same girl again. That magical girl, Sayaka. I met her when she was standing at the entrance where that boy she loves is inside. I confronted her. I tell her that the wish she made will be bad for her. I remember asking her if that boy she loves would not know that her wish came true in terms of healing him. I asked Sayaka if she were to see him, would he say thanks and love you back. I remember telling her that she can bust in and destroy him. Make him suffer, become fragile, and then he will thank you. She was pissed as if this moment felt like the first time we met. Labeling me as a horrible person, we wanted to go for round two.

At the bridge, I was in my magical girl outfit and ready to go again to face off that "hero of justice." I wait for Sayaka to get in her outfit, hoping for another match that will be sure to end her completely. Even though that strange girl wanted to be involved in my fight, speaking to me from my back, I would not allow it. Its my fight. Let me be.

Suddenly, your friend came out of nowhere along with Kyubey. Just when she was about to transform, her friend takes her Soul Gem and tossed it down on a running truck. That was surprising until a sudden turn of events occurred. Sayaka stopped moving. I grabbed her just before she fell and then I was in shock to see her dead. Stone cold dead. My heart sank as I have seen the reality of being a magical girl. For Sayaka, she was not real as I learned that our Soul Gem was our source. All this time, I have not realized that this body of mine is hollow whereas my Soul Gem was me. My thoughts kicked into me as we felt like were corpses. Zombies to be exact. You mean to tell me that we're no longer human? I felt afraid. I cannot believe what we become. Not even Mami would know about this. This was scary. Frightening to what Kyubey made us. All because we trade our souls for a wish. Even if I wasn't asking any pennies or dimes for a kiss.

I remember the time when I truly wanted to tell Sayaka about me and my background. I know that we were enemies, but after what just happened on that night has totally changed me. I did made her think of me as a bad guy, but inside of me felt I have a change of heart. Just to give her an idea where I come from. Back at the church, I told her everything about my wish. How it changed my fathers attention to where I was fighting witches. Up to the point when my father caught me in the act after I have dealt with another witch. He didn't take the liking of me as a magical girl as soon as I have confessed to him. What hurts more was when he labeled me as a witch. It's definitely unforgiving. Calling me as your daughter a witch? That hurts me even more.

The real reason I brought my past to Sayaka was that both of us have similarities. Both of us made a wish other than ourselves. My wish had destroyed my family. For Sayaka's wish, she helped a boy to become better. I cannot tell where her fate will take her if she expected miracles. As if miracles and magic are real, the truth of that matter does have its consequences. Even if an idiot like Sayaka believes in that and not regret her wish, then she should have known that she has another thing coming.

But as I sat there biting another apple and seeing her take off, leaving me in the church that used to be home, I felt concerned about her. Between us as enemies, I felt a connection through her. tell what she was going through and her behavior was showing a sign of despair within her. Its odd. Somehow, I felt that way when it came to me and my family. I felt normal at first when I made that wish from Kyubey. Then anxiety and despair came down as I have realized the curse I have made. Since then, I could have regret that wish, but my family was going through hard times. We were not wealthy and food was scarce. Hell, I had to take an apple from the street and bring it to my family, but father takes it in consideration that I should be the one who has the apple. Even if I share it among my family.


	3. Chapter 3

The next night, I was watching Sayaka taking on a witch. For a rookie like her, it was her first fight against a witch. For her, I was not sure what was taking her so long since fighting witches doesn't last too long and I was not so sure about her condition. I couldn't wait anymore and went down in the barrier to check her out.

There I saw Sayaka struggling in her fight against the witch. A shadowy type that is. From the looks on Sayaka's face, I can tell that something was up with her. Her erratic behavior was making her insane and she was really going at it as she breaks her way through the fight. I knew that I should have stepped in to handle all of this, but no. Sayaka insisted that I should back off and have her take her frustrations against the witch. While she savagely kills the witch with a menacing laugh, her friend and I watch as we see someone who was apparently losing it. The way that she was behaving, I mean...damn! Her energy looks as it has been used up through her Soul Gem. She looks exhausted after the fight against the witch. From then, something was wrong with her. I can just tell by the way she was behaving. I did not like it. Especially for her best friend, she did not like it.

Now that I see everything of what was happening, I can really tell that Sayaka was in despair. I could tell what was troubling her. The wish she made was a mere lost to the boy she loved. That individual she had always looked out for. All of what she had hoped for has backfired her. I mean everything. I don't know where all of this was going. But I knew that she was out there, suffering at her own will.

The time when I have finally met up with you, you felt that there was no hope for you to go on. With your Soul Gem fading in darkness, you were crying with happiness. I don't know but her face nearly shown sarcasm. With her final words spoken out of her mouth, her Soul Gem shattered causing a wave of chain reaction. I was blown away by the reaction as I gripped on the bar and felt the presence of evil swirling close by. Sayaka falls down, lifeless, as she was no longer moving.

Transforming back into my outfit, I was able to catch her in arms and look at the result of what Sayaka has become. From the Soul Gem, she turned out to be a hideous witch. A freak of nature. Her looks was nothing as she wields her sword. This cannot be good. Now I felt surprised to see what Sayaka has become. I couldn't fight her yet if I wanted to, but that mysterious magical girl saved me by escorting me out of there along with the lifeless corpse.

After escaping out of there, I carried the lifeless body of Sayaka. She appeared to be dead already. Gone. To make matters much worse, her best friend cried deeply in tears once she have seen her like this. It was hard to look and feel this as the emotions absorbed into me. I didn't cry, but then, I felt angry. I felt pissed off by Homura who keeps telling us about our fate as magical girls. How the hell she knows about these things? What does she know that neither of us knew? What is she a know-it-all? If someone like her knew about Sayaka's fate, how the hell we're supposed to know what the outcome of our Soul Gems will be like? I bet neither of the magical girls would know about this.

There was a time when I recall fighting against Sayaka in her witch form. I didn't go into this fight alone. Mind you. Tagging along with her friend, Madoka, I had a plan if we were to get Sayaka back, then she will be saved from this misery. I wanted Madoka to get her friend some attention and have her recognized to who she was. Things didn't turn out the way I expected and Sayaka retaliated at me with wheels that are deadly if not avoided with caution. Anger gets to me and I was hoping that Sayaka would have open her senses to who her friend is. As if things couldn't be worse, you Sayaka had the mind to grab your friend, squeezing her to death. _**Seriously, what are you thinking?! You're trying to kill your best friend?! The nerve of you!**_ No...no...I can't have that. I can never allow that to happen! No way!

Upon saving Madoka from her grasp, I continue to fight you in your witch form Sayaka. As I fought against you, a wave of thoughts entered through me. So, this was the payback from the trouble that I have cause towards you. Was that the case, Sayaka? Look at us, fighting at each other. Now you take your emotions and dish it out on me. My emotions are not like yours. Yet, you are crying inside of the anxiety and despair that dwells deep inside of you. A miracle that you thought you expected to be has been overturned. Have you not made that contract; you could still have that chance on being with him. Then again, it's too late to change all that.

As I fought with all my strength, I have feelings inside of me. No, not the feelings of what happened in my past. I am talking about my feelings on Sayaka. Seeing you like this, alone, it's rough, especially if you are indeed a freak of nature. Between you and me, it sucks to be alone, and I got that. I hated you from the beginning, but then I feel as if I have a strong connection with you. I said to myself that there was something about you that gets me. The pain and suffering that you brought to yourself can mean one thing, but your heart was desperate in a need of finding love. If I have to admit one thing, I care about Sayaka. No, what was I saying? I care deeply for Sayaka. I have my affection for her.

Sayaka Miki. My one and only friend. If it wasn't for me, I would have not told you where your wish would wind up to. Now, it comes down to this. The point where I had to fight you. The point on fighting against you as a witch.

The fight between us felt as if it was never going to end. Getting back the real you was just impossible. With the last ounce of strength that I have left, I looked back to see that magical girl with Madoka in her arms. I didn't want her involved with my fight and told her to protect the one that means so much to yourself. With her out of the way, I look directly at Sayaka. I mustered all the strength that I have and made a prayer.

_Please God. If there was one thing that I wanted to see would be a happy ending. I am sorry for the wrongdoing that I have started. Forgive me, for I have sinned as a child coming from a spiritual family. I will regret everything that I have done that would cause me to be in this misery. I want to end this. Right here, right now._

Taking my Soul Gem out of my chest, I gave it one final kiss and tossed it in the air. Then, I used my strength to deliver the final blow towards the person I have looked out for and sacrificed our lives together. Everything else went white as soon as we collided together.

Suddenly, I wake up to find myself in a sea of whiteness. I get up and look around to where I was. I could tell that it looks like I'm already in heaven. But there are no clouds to indicate that. Just a void of whiteness all over. I turned and there I saw someone. A figure sits there with the school outfit that she has on her back. Seeing her by the distance, I knew it was her. Sayaka...

I approach up to her while I have my candy bar in the wrapper. I move up until I stand there, a few inches from where she was sitting. Sayaka turned and saw me. We look at each other for just a minute. Then, I smiled calmly and go right up to her. Sayaka was happy to see me here. I reached out for her and discarded the candy to hold her hand. I held it and then I lift her off the ground to have her close to me. I stare into her eyes, embracing her into a hug. I made a move and lip locked with her passionately. For someone that is special to me, I made sure that she is mine and no one else.

Sayaka. You don't have to be lonely anymore. I can never allow that to happen. I want you to know that I have found a new home for us here. And I know that you and I will keep ourselves together for a long time.


End file.
